Women have it easy…
Most reasonably attractive women on the bigger online dating sites get hundreds of responses to their ads every week. I’m serious, all a woman has to do is post a half-decent profile and a picture… men swarm her.
We men, well, even online we still have to be the pursuer/hunter. We don’t have the luxury of sitting back and watching all the emails from interested women pour in.
No, we have to send out the emails to get noticed.
Which is fine, we can accept our role in the world, but with all that competition it is very, VERY easy for your email to get lost in her inbox, go unnoticed, or just plain get deleted for lack of apparent value.
Your biggest challenge in sending out emails is to be DIFFERENT from all those other guys. You need to give her a reason to respond. You need to show her something that will motivate her to write back. If you can do that you will be light years ahead of all the other guys sending boring, cliché emails.
So, this point begs the question: how do you separate yourself from all the other guys?
To answer that let’s view this whole online dating thing from a woman’s perspective…
She logs on to Mate1 to check her inbox.
Lo and behold – 58 new email messages!
To a guy this might be a dream come true but to a woman it’s, “Oh great, now I have to weed through all the losers…”
You see… it’s work to them.
Most reasonably attractive women on the bigger online dating sites get hundreds of responses to their ads every week. I’m serious, all a woman has to do is post a half-decent profile and a picture… men swarm her.
We men, well, even online we still have to be the pursuer/hunter. We don’t have the luxury of sitting back and watching all the emails from interested women pour in.
No, we have to send out the emails to get noticed.
Which is fine, we can accept our role in the world, but with all that competition it is very, VERY easy for your email to get lost in her inbox, go unnoticed, or just plain get deleted for lack of apparent value.
Your biggest challenge in sending out emails is to be DIFFERENT from all those other guys. You need to give her a reason to respond. You need to show her something that will motivate her to write back. If you can do that you will be light years ahead of all the other guys sending boring, cliché emails.
So, this point begs the question: how do you separate yourself from all the other guys?
To answer that let’s view this whole online dating thing from a woman’s perspective…
She logs on to Mate1 to check her inbox.
Lo and behold – 58 new email messages!
To a guy this might be a dream come true but to a woman it’s, “Oh great, now I have to weed through all the losers…”
You see… it’s work to them.
Here is the typical email she receives:
“Hello BigBertha79,
I saw your profile, you are VERY beautiful. I am a NS, 25 year old SWM. I live in Baltimore, MD which is pretty close to you. I think we would be a good match because you are good looking.
Sincerely,
Jim”
... after looking at about 10 of these generic, lifeless, somewhat insulting emails from men a woman just starts automatically deleting the ones that don’t strike her as interesting after a moment or two.
This is out of necessity that your email be different –she is receiving a TON of these emails and truly doesn’t have time to answer all of them. Not only can she can afford to be selective – she HAS to be selective.
Here is how to get noticed:
“Hello BigBertha79,
I saw your profile, you are VERY beautiful. I am a NS, 25 year old SWM. I live in Baltimore, MD which is pretty close to you. I think we would be a good match because you are good looking.
Sincerely,
Jim”
... after looking at about 10 of these generic, lifeless, somewhat insulting emails from men a woman just starts automatically deleting the ones that don’t strike her as interesting after a moment or two.
This is out of necessity that your email be different –she is receiving a TON of these emails and truly doesn’t have time to answer all of them. Not only can she can afford to be selective – she HAS to be selective.
Here is how to get noticed:
DON’T KISS HER BUTT:
People look down on people while they are kissing their butt. Don’t sound desperate and don’t sound like you are below her. Don’t tell her she is beautiful – she’s tired of hearing that from guys. If you MUST compliment then compliment her on her interests.
People look down on people while they are kissing their butt. Don’t sound desperate and don’t sound like you are below her. Don’t tell her she is beautiful – she’s tired of hearing that from guys. If you MUST compliment then compliment her on her interests.
LET YOUR PERSONALITY SHOW:
Don’t send another boring email. But also don’t be that wacko who just lets it all hang out. Those guys over do it. It’s good to throw in a little humor (as long as you are sure it’s funny). Experiment a little, be creative.
Don’t send another boring email. But also don’t be that wacko who just lets it all hang out. Those guys over do it. It’s good to throw in a little humor (as long as you are sure it’s funny). Experiment a little, be creative.
SELL YOURSELF:
Give her a reason to want to get to know you better. Without bragging show her why you are worth getting to know better.
Give her a reason to want to get to know you better. Without bragging show her why you are worth getting to know better.
Here is the secret to getting her to respond to your email…
Ask a simple question (that she would enjoy answering) at the end of the email. This practically forces her to respond.
The question makes it easy for her to think of something to say to you (since all she has to do is answer your question) and since it should be a question that is based on one of her interests she mentioned in her profile she will enjoy answering and she will be quite eager to do it!
Very effective!
To make it a question that you know she will enjoy answering just use her profile and ask a question about one of her interests, hobbies, pets, etc. (avoid questions about careers… BORING).
For instance, if she states in her profile that she enjoys rock climbing then ask her if she has climbed a particular mountain in your area.
Or, if she says she likes dogs ask her which breed of dog she likes and why.
Those examples are kind of cheesy (I’m just trying to explain what I mean) but you get the idea. By asking her about something that she will obviously enjoy talking about you make it very likely that she will respond because it will be easy for her to respond.
Be careful not to include too many questions in your emails, 2-3 tops. More and she will feel like she is filling out a job application. Ask the questions that are most important to you first and then go from there.
What to do…
Go through the list of women that you picked out in the last step and read through their profile. Craft an appealing email and send it.
Do this 3-5 times a day. Doing it more will make you lose interest and, after a while, all your emails will sound the same. You don’t want to get burnt out on this because it’s important.
But, more importantly, when women start responding you don’t want to be so swamped that you can’t keep them straight and/or you can’t see all of them so you have to turn some down!
I’m serious; this is a very real concern.
So you’ve gone through your list of potentials, now what?
You don’t need this information now but just keep it in mind for later…
The question makes it easy for her to think of something to say to you (since all she has to do is answer your question) and since it should be a question that is based on one of her interests she mentioned in her profile she will enjoy answering and she will be quite eager to do it!
Very effective!
To make it a question that you know she will enjoy answering just use her profile and ask a question about one of her interests, hobbies, pets, etc. (avoid questions about careers… BORING).
For instance, if she states in her profile that she enjoys rock climbing then ask her if she has climbed a particular mountain in your area.
Or, if she says she likes dogs ask her which breed of dog she likes and why.
Those examples are kind of cheesy (I’m just trying to explain what I mean) but you get the idea. By asking her about something that she will obviously enjoy talking about you make it very likely that she will respond because it will be easy for her to respond.
Be careful not to include too many questions in your emails, 2-3 tops. More and she will feel like she is filling out a job application. Ask the questions that are most important to you first and then go from there.
What to do…
Go through the list of women that you picked out in the last step and read through their profile. Craft an appealing email and send it.
Do this 3-5 times a day. Doing it more will make you lose interest and, after a while, all your emails will sound the same. You don’t want to get burnt out on this because it’s important.
But, more importantly, when women start responding you don’t want to be so swamped that you can’t keep them straight and/or you can’t see all of them so you have to turn some down!
I’m serious; this is a very real concern.
So you’ve gone through your list of potentials, now what?
You don’t need this information now but just keep it in mind for later…
After you’ve gone through your entire list of women (which should have taken at least a month) you should do a specific kind of search on the profiles.
Most personal ad sites allow you to search for all profiles created recently (during the past month, during the past week, etc.). These “fresh” profiles won’t be on the list that you made earlier. Each week or so do a search on the new profiles and send out emails to the women you are interested in.
Most personal ad sites allow you to search for all profiles created recently (during the past month, during the past week, etc.). These “fresh” profiles won’t be on the list that you made earlier. Each week or so do a search on the new profiles and send out emails to the women you are interested in.
Emailing etiquette…
If a woman asks you a question that is in your profile, don’t give her a hard time about it, just answer it. People read profiles, they don’t memorize them.
Don’t complain if a woman takes a long time to get back to you. This just makes you look desperate.
If a woman asks you a question that is in your profile, don’t give her a hard time about it, just answer it. People read profiles, they don’t memorize them.
Don’t complain if a woman takes a long time to get back to you. This just makes you look desperate.
Some example emails…
Hey,
Never let your guard down? Geez, sounds like you’ve had some REALLY bad relationships in the past. That’s alright though, your luck is about to change…☺
You said that you enjoyed bowling, what’s your best score? (I’m a somewhat experienced bowler myself).
TTYL,
Craig
Short and sweet. Showed personality and asked a question which she will be motivated to respond to.
Hey,
Never let your guard down? Geez, sounds like you’ve had some REALLY bad relationships in the past. That’s alright though, your luck is about to change…☺
You said that you enjoyed bowling, what’s your best score? (I’m a somewhat experienced bowler myself).
TTYL,
Craig
Short and sweet. Showed personality and asked a question which she will be motivated to respond to.
0 comments:
Post a Comment