In the “dating game,” on some level, you are trying to convince another human being that you are valuable and worth having around. Almost as if you were a microwave or something.
Think of your personal ad as your advertisement… you are selling yourself to women.
You are trying to make yourself sound as attractive and trying to persuade them to get to know you without seeming desperate.
If you go overboard and start talking yourself up you can be perceived as full of yourself. If you try to be too persuasive or pushy a woman may think you are desperate.
You have to strike a delicate balance.
Since they are so similar, let’s go over some rules that apply to both successful advertising and creating a compelling profile:
PERCIVED VALUE…
IN ADVERTISING:
Oddly enough, advertisers find that sometimes they can actually sell MORE products by RAISING the price. This is counter-intuitive, you would think that raising the price would reduce sales but this is not always the case.
Reason being that people perceive something with higher price to be more valuable and, conversely, if something is inexpensive they usually perceive it to be cheap. The higher the price the higher the perceived value. The more valuable something seems to them more likely people are to buy.
IN ONLINE DATING:
Think of your personal ad as your advertisement… you are selling yourself to women.
You are trying to make yourself sound as attractive and trying to persuade them to get to know you without seeming desperate.
If you go overboard and start talking yourself up you can be perceived as full of yourself. If you try to be too persuasive or pushy a woman may think you are desperate.
You have to strike a delicate balance.
Since they are so similar, let’s go over some rules that apply to both successful advertising and creating a compelling profile:
PERCIVED VALUE…
IN ADVERTISING:
Oddly enough, advertisers find that sometimes they can actually sell MORE products by RAISING the price. This is counter-intuitive, you would think that raising the price would reduce sales but this is not always the case.
Reason being that people perceive something with higher price to be more valuable and, conversely, if something is inexpensive they usually perceive it to be cheap. The higher the price the higher the perceived value. The more valuable something seems to them more likely people are to buy.
IN ONLINE DATING:
Don’t sound desperate, beg, or feel sorry for yourself in your ad… by doing so you lower your perceived value. Plus, women find this absolutely repulsive.
If you want to be perceived as someone who is worth dating then you have to ACT like someone that is worth dating and you have to post the profile of someone that is worth dating.
Don’t worry about being modest – talk about your strengths, your talents, what makes you great, etc.
HEADLINES CAN BOOST RESPONSE UP TO 300%...
IN ADVERTISING:
Advertisers have found that the success of a direct mail campaign (an ad you get in the mail) is closely correlated to the strength of the headline. A headline is the big, bold text at the top of an ad that motivates you to read the smaller print.
It’s the text that draws you in.
IN ONLINE DATING:
A good headline can have a similar impact on the success of your personal ad. Since a woman browses through hundreds of these headlines one that really sticks out will motivate her to click on it and view the rest of your profile.
One man reported getting 99 responses to a personal ad using a particular headline (previously he didn’t have anywhere NEAR that success and that was the only change he made to his ad!). What was his headline?
“I want a partner, not just a date.”
That one may not be right for you but if it fits… go with it. Another one that has gotten a good response is:
“Seeking an Angel… Is This You?”
DON’T WAIT FOR THE PROSPECT TO FIND YOU…
IN ADVERTISING:
If you want to be perceived as someone who is worth dating then you have to ACT like someone that is worth dating and you have to post the profile of someone that is worth dating.
Don’t worry about being modest – talk about your strengths, your talents, what makes you great, etc.
HEADLINES CAN BOOST RESPONSE UP TO 300%...
IN ADVERTISING:
Advertisers have found that the success of a direct mail campaign (an ad you get in the mail) is closely correlated to the strength of the headline. A headline is the big, bold text at the top of an ad that motivates you to read the smaller print.
It’s the text that draws you in.
IN ONLINE DATING:
A good headline can have a similar impact on the success of your personal ad. Since a woman browses through hundreds of these headlines one that really sticks out will motivate her to click on it and view the rest of your profile.
One man reported getting 99 responses to a personal ad using a particular headline (previously he didn’t have anywhere NEAR that success and that was the only change he made to his ad!). What was his headline?
“I want a partner, not just a date.”
That one may not be right for you but if it fits… go with it. Another one that has gotten a good response is:
“Seeking an Angel… Is This You?”
DON’T WAIT FOR THE PROSPECT TO FIND YOU…
IN ADVERTISING:
One of the biggest mistakes businesses make is failing to advertise enough. Some businesses assume that the only kind of advertising that will work for them is word of mouth advertising.
This is a mistake. Businesses shouldn’t expect the customer to be looking for them. They need to pursue and find their customers. Failing to do so means that they are losing customers.
IN ONLINE DATING:
You can’t wait for the women to find you. You have to put your “advertisement” in front of them. Failing to do so means that you are missing out on dates with wonderful women that you may not meet otherwise.
PEOPLE BUY BASED ON HOW THEY FEEL…
IN ADVERTSING:
Successful advertisers know that people decide to buy based on emotion and then use logic to justify their decision.
IN ONLINE DATING:
If you can keep your ad pleasant, positive, and, if possible, make it exciting, women will be more likely to respond.
CERTAIN WORDS HAVE FEELINGS ATTACHED…
IN ADVERTISING:
“Vicious” has a very different feeling than “mean” even though their definitions are close. “Ecstasy” has a different feeling than “enjoyable.” Good advertisers are aware of the connotations that the words they use have on their prospects.
Using words with positive, alluring connotations can make a prospect more likely to act on the ad and make the purchase.
IN ONLINE DATING:
The same applies to your personal AD. You should use words that will send the message you are looking for. Rather than saying “Single, white
This is a mistake. Businesses shouldn’t expect the customer to be looking for them. They need to pursue and find their customers. Failing to do so means that they are losing customers.
IN ONLINE DATING:
You can’t wait for the women to find you. You have to put your “advertisement” in front of them. Failing to do so means that you are missing out on dates with wonderful women that you may not meet otherwise.
PEOPLE BUY BASED ON HOW THEY FEEL…
IN ADVERTSING:
Successful advertisers know that people decide to buy based on emotion and then use logic to justify their decision.
IN ONLINE DATING:
If you can keep your ad pleasant, positive, and, if possible, make it exciting, women will be more likely to respond.
CERTAIN WORDS HAVE FEELINGS ATTACHED…
IN ADVERTISING:
“Vicious” has a very different feeling than “mean” even though their definitions are close. “Ecstasy” has a different feeling than “enjoyable.” Good advertisers are aware of the connotations that the words they use have on their prospects.
Using words with positive, alluring connotations can make a prospect more likely to act on the ad and make the purchase.
IN ONLINE DATING:
The same applies to your personal AD. You should use words that will send the message you are looking for. Rather than saying “Single, white
male in search of…” say “Dashing young male on the prowl for a sensuous lady friend…”
Well, maybe not to that extreme but you should try to replace boring words with more exciting and attracting words when possible.
ASK FOR THE SALE…
IN ADVERTISING:
As obvious as it may seem simply asking someone to “BUY NOW” can dramatically boost response to an ad. Hence those annoying infomercials…
IN ONLINE DATING:
Online dating is no exception – you have to let the woman know what you want. Do you want her to respond to your ad? Then ask her to.
At the end of your profile give a “call to action.” Say something along the lines of “Send me an email if you are interested…”
TIP: Including a “write back” at the end of your FIRST email to a woman will make her more likely to respond. However, don’t write “please write back” as that will make you look desperate.
IF SOMETHING DOESN’T WORK, TRY SOMETHING ELSE…
IN ADVERTISING:
If a product is good but it isn’t selling then most advertisers know that they need to change the approach of their advertising. Either to focus on a different selling point of the product or just because the old ad sucked.
IN ONLINE DATING:
If you are finding that your ad isn’t getting as many women to respond as you would like then just start over. Scrap it. Try a different approach.
FOCUS ON BENEFITS NOT FEATURES…
IN ADVERTISING: A feature is what the product does. A benefit is what that feature does for the person. So, for example, a Ferrari having a V12 is feature. The car going fast as hell is a benefit.
Well, maybe not to that extreme but you should try to replace boring words with more exciting and attracting words when possible.
ASK FOR THE SALE…
IN ADVERTISING:
As obvious as it may seem simply asking someone to “BUY NOW” can dramatically boost response to an ad. Hence those annoying infomercials…
IN ONLINE DATING:
Online dating is no exception – you have to let the woman know what you want. Do you want her to respond to your ad? Then ask her to.
At the end of your profile give a “call to action.” Say something along the lines of “Send me an email if you are interested…”
TIP: Including a “write back” at the end of your FIRST email to a woman will make her more likely to respond. However, don’t write “please write back” as that will make you look desperate.
IF SOMETHING DOESN’T WORK, TRY SOMETHING ELSE…
IN ADVERTISING:
If a product is good but it isn’t selling then most advertisers know that they need to change the approach of their advertising. Either to focus on a different selling point of the product or just because the old ad sucked.
IN ONLINE DATING:
If you are finding that your ad isn’t getting as many women to respond as you would like then just start over. Scrap it. Try a different approach.
FOCUS ON BENEFITS NOT FEATURES…
IN ADVERTISING: A feature is what the product does. A benefit is what that feature does for the person. So, for example, a Ferrari having a V12 is feature. The car going fast as hell is a benefit.
In general, people are more impressed with benefits than they are features.
IN ONLINE DATING:
Don’t just describe your features – explain how they will benefit her! For example, “I enjoy outside activities and sports” would better be stated as “I enjoy sports and outside activities so we will have a great time together.”
Make the benefits of getting to know you apparent.
BELIEVE IN YOUR PRODUCT
IN ADVERTISING:
If a salesman or advertiser doesn’t believe in his product he will have a hard time convincing others to buy it. His lack of pride will shine through in spite of his best efforts to hide his low opinion of it.
IN ONLINE DATING:
You need to have a high opinion of yourself. If you don’t you will have a hard time writing a positive, genuine ad selling yourself. Even if you do manage to write an ad any women you meet will be turned off by your insecurity and lack of confidence. On the other hand, you don’t want to sound full of yourself.
SEEK COMMON GROUND:
IN ADVERTISING:
Who would you be more likely to buy from? Someone that is a complete opposite from you or someone that is similar to you in some way? For instance, if a salesman was from your hometown wouldn’t you be more inclined to buy from him than someone that was from, say, Lansing, Wyoming?
IN ONLINE DATING: Communicate things in your profile that people can relate to: what town you are from, where you are going in life (goals, dreams, etc.), what makes you laugh, things you really enjoy about life. When people love to talk about these things and hear about others.
IN ONLINE DATING:
Don’t just describe your features – explain how they will benefit her! For example, “I enjoy outside activities and sports” would better be stated as “I enjoy sports and outside activities so we will have a great time together.”
Make the benefits of getting to know you apparent.
BELIEVE IN YOUR PRODUCT
IN ADVERTISING:
If a salesman or advertiser doesn’t believe in his product he will have a hard time convincing others to buy it. His lack of pride will shine through in spite of his best efforts to hide his low opinion of it.
IN ONLINE DATING:
You need to have a high opinion of yourself. If you don’t you will have a hard time writing a positive, genuine ad selling yourself. Even if you do manage to write an ad any women you meet will be turned off by your insecurity and lack of confidence. On the other hand, you don’t want to sound full of yourself.
SEEK COMMON GROUND:
IN ADVERTISING:
Who would you be more likely to buy from? Someone that is a complete opposite from you or someone that is similar to you in some way? For instance, if a salesman was from your hometown wouldn’t you be more inclined to buy from him than someone that was from, say, Lansing, Wyoming?
IN ONLINE DATING: Communicate things in your profile that people can relate to: what town you are from, where you are going in life (goals, dreams, etc.), what makes you laugh, things you really enjoy about life. When people love to talk about these things and hear about others.
What else to know…
There are three “golden” qualities that you should try to communicate in your profile since these are three of the most popular traits that women look for in men:
1. Sense of Humor…
Don’t take this too seriously – dating is about fun. Joke around a little in your profile.
2. Integrity…
This is kind of difficult to communicate. The best way is to state that you expect anyone who responds to your ad to have integrity. The assumption is that you expect the same of yourself.
3. Self-confidence…
Don’t confuse self-confidence with boasting, being cocky, or bragging. The best way to communicate self-confidence is to talk about your aspirations and goals which we discussed earlier.
For more on this see the Profile Checklist included with this purchase.
I’ll double check you…
If you follow the guidelines in this section you should end up with a fairly decent personal ad. But, to make sure, you are more than welcome to send me your ad for review.
I will make changes or write some comments and then send it back to you. It always helps to have someone look over your ad for any negative subtleties that you were unknowingly communicating.
For example, some guys accidentally send subtle messages of desperation and neediness without realizing it… a sure way to make sure women DON’T respond to your ad.
I’ll also check for spelling errors.
Good sample…
So what does a good profile look like? Here are some (modified) ones:
If my friends were to describe me in one word they would say…goofy. I love to be happy and to laugh most of the time. It seems to make the days go by quicker, and who wants to be
There are three “golden” qualities that you should try to communicate in your profile since these are three of the most popular traits that women look for in men:
1. Sense of Humor…
Don’t take this too seriously – dating is about fun. Joke around a little in your profile.
2. Integrity…
This is kind of difficult to communicate. The best way is to state that you expect anyone who responds to your ad to have integrity. The assumption is that you expect the same of yourself.
3. Self-confidence…
Don’t confuse self-confidence with boasting, being cocky, or bragging. The best way to communicate self-confidence is to talk about your aspirations and goals which we discussed earlier.
For more on this see the Profile Checklist included with this purchase.
I’ll double check you…
If you follow the guidelines in this section you should end up with a fairly decent personal ad. But, to make sure, you are more than welcome to send me your ad for review.
I will make changes or write some comments and then send it back to you. It always helps to have someone look over your ad for any negative subtleties that you were unknowingly communicating.
For example, some guys accidentally send subtle messages of desperation and neediness without realizing it… a sure way to make sure women DON’T respond to your ad.
I’ll also check for spelling errors.
Good sample…
So what does a good profile look like? Here are some (modified) ones:
If my friends were to describe me in one word they would say…goofy. I love to be happy and to laugh most of the time. It seems to make the days go by quicker, and who wants to be
unhappy anyway? I grew up 15 miles west of NY, NY, and I have been living here in Utah for the past 3 years. I work for a government contractor at Eglin Air Force Base. The aircraft that I maintain fly everybody from foreign delegates to the directors of the FBI and CIA to the Vice President of the United States, and everybody in between. On my off time I enjoy watching sports, hockey, football, baseball and sometimes woman’s tennis. Hockey is my favorite to watch. Nothing beats a body check into the boards as the crowd cheers the home team on to victory. . I also love to play hockey, football, and tennis when I get the chance. Being that I’m half Italian I love to cook and drink wine. I didn’t have to go to college to get my degree in culinary arts. My mother’s side of the family taught me everything I need to know. My hobbies include hiking and skydiving in the spring (the best season), investing in a diverse range of stocks, bonds, and funds. That just about summarizes who I am, if you have any questions email me.
I like this ad for several reasons. First, you get a good sense of this guy’s personality. Remember, 15.1% of those surveyed on AmericanSingles.com said that their biggest turn off was that “they sound just like everyone else.” It is easy to fall into the “canned” answers but don’t.
Also, he included a call to action at the end. By saying “if you have any questions email me” he got the women who are reading this profile started in that direction.
Finally, I liked how he made himself sound interesting. Really, he doesn’t have a very exciting life/job/hobbies but he picked out those things that were somewhat interesting and embellished them with detail. Excellent strategy.
I also think excellent how he started it out was good with the “If my friends were to describe me…”
Bad sample…
Finding what not to do was a much easier task…
Hi, my name is Dave. I'm a down to earth kinda guy, that enjoys the simple things surrounding me everyday. No matter where life brings me, things always turn out for the best. I enjoy taking walks after work with my best friend Ally (Great Dane). In the summer, what little we have in Duluth, I take pleasure in working my vegetable garden. I have been remodeling my house this past year, which has taken most of my free time after work and on my free weekends. My job has taken me to many interesting places around the country and few places around the globe. I also love to have fun and spend time with friends and family. I'm equally adept to spending a quiet nite at home or one out on the town. I don't have a problem with keeping myself busy, but I find that with most of my friends married I too would like to have someone to share my time with. Well, that's just the tip of the iceberg so send me a line.
I like this ad for several reasons. First, you get a good sense of this guy’s personality. Remember, 15.1% of those surveyed on AmericanSingles.com said that their biggest turn off was that “they sound just like everyone else.” It is easy to fall into the “canned” answers but don’t.
Also, he included a call to action at the end. By saying “if you have any questions email me” he got the women who are reading this profile started in that direction.
Finally, I liked how he made himself sound interesting. Really, he doesn’t have a very exciting life/job/hobbies but he picked out those things that were somewhat interesting and embellished them with detail. Excellent strategy.
I also think excellent how he started it out was good with the “If my friends were to describe me…”
Bad sample…
Finding what not to do was a much easier task…
Hi, my name is Dave. I'm a down to earth kinda guy, that enjoys the simple things surrounding me everyday. No matter where life brings me, things always turn out for the best. I enjoy taking walks after work with my best friend Ally (Great Dane). In the summer, what little we have in Duluth, I take pleasure in working my vegetable garden. I have been remodeling my house this past year, which has taken most of my free time after work and on my free weekends. My job has taken me to many interesting places around the country and few places around the globe. I also love to have fun and spend time with friends and family. I'm equally adept to spending a quiet nite at home or one out on the town. I don't have a problem with keeping myself busy, but I find that with most of my friends married I too would like to have someone to share my time with. Well, that's just the tip of the iceberg so send me a line.
“Hi, my name’s Dave!”
Gag. I couldn’t have fabricated a worse profile than this if I had tried. It’s sickeningly sweet (no, most women DON’T like that), it’s painfully generic, he makes his life sound boring, there is absolutely no personality, and he sounds desperate (“Everyone’s married except me…boohooooo… please marry me?”).
The only thing he did right was the “call to action” at the end.
Gag. I couldn’t have fabricated a worse profile than this if I had tried. It’s sickeningly sweet (no, most women DON’T like that), it’s painfully generic, he makes his life sound boring, there is absolutely no personality, and he sounds desperate (“Everyone’s married except me…boohooooo… please marry me?”).
The only thing he did right was the “call to action” at the end.
0 comments:
Post a Comment