THIS STEP IS NOT OPTIONAL…
Posting a picture with your profile is NOT optional.
You will be tempted to skip this because it is a pain in the butt, because you will think that a picture will do nothing but drive women away, or because you are worried someone will recognize you.
All of these worries are irrational.
The most common objection is that people feel that they are unattractive and posting a picture will only drive women away – this is not true. You will miss out on meeting women because they don’t see your profile – not because they don’t like what they see.
Here’s why…
There is a box that people can check when searching profiles that excludes ads without photos… 3 OUT OF 4 PEOPLE CHECK THAT BOX! That means that your ad will only be viewed by 25% of people if you don’t put a picture on your ad.
According to Udate.com those who post a picture on their profile get four times as much mail as those who don’t! Here are their exact words from an email they sent out:
“Did you know you could significantly increase the interest shown in you by ladies if you included a photograph with your profile? It's really easy to post a photo on udate. Members with photos get at least four times as much mail as those without. You can boost ladies' interest even further by remembering to visit udate regularly, say once or twice a week. With any form of socializing, being seen is so important to meeting someone.”
So there you have it, straight from the horse’s mouth. Even the online dating sites have noticed the dramatic difference in results their members get from posting a picture.
SIDENOTE: They also mention that their members should log into their account fairly often. This isn’t a problem for most people but it’s important to know that people can also search on the most “active” profiles. They measure the “activity” of a profile by how recently the owner has logged in to check their emails, etc. This way the “dead” profiles where no one has logged in for 6 months won’t come up because, obviously, if someone hasn’t logged in for 6 months they aren’t likely to see your email to them (let alone answer it).
AmericanSingles.com did a poll about the biggest turn-offs about people’s profiles. Last time I checked these were the results:
No photo – 48.4%
Spelling errors – 17%
Incomplete essays – 6.5%
Too negative – 12.3%
Sound like everyone else – 15%
So, I’ve showed you in several ways now that the biggest thing you can do to shoot yourself in the foot is to not post a photo of yourself.
No excuses…
At one time it might have been a pain to get a digital picture but nowadays digital cameras are very common – chances are that your friend has one if you don’t. If not, you can scan a picture and put it on a disk at any local Wal-Mart. You can even get your pictures from a regular camera put on a CD and mailed to you.
If you are technologically inept then have one of your friends help you with this. Just tell them that it’s an experiment or something I’m sure they will be glad to help.
Posting a picture with your profile is NOT optional.
You will be tempted to skip this because it is a pain in the butt, because you will think that a picture will do nothing but drive women away, or because you are worried someone will recognize you.
All of these worries are irrational.
The most common objection is that people feel that they are unattractive and posting a picture will only drive women away – this is not true. You will miss out on meeting women because they don’t see your profile – not because they don’t like what they see.
Here’s why…
There is a box that people can check when searching profiles that excludes ads without photos… 3 OUT OF 4 PEOPLE CHECK THAT BOX! That means that your ad will only be viewed by 25% of people if you don’t put a picture on your ad.
According to Udate.com those who post a picture on their profile get four times as much mail as those who don’t! Here are their exact words from an email they sent out:
“Did you know you could significantly increase the interest shown in you by ladies if you included a photograph with your profile? It's really easy to post a photo on udate. Members with photos get at least four times as much mail as those without. You can boost ladies' interest even further by remembering to visit udate regularly, say once or twice a week. With any form of socializing, being seen is so important to meeting someone.”
So there you have it, straight from the horse’s mouth. Even the online dating sites have noticed the dramatic difference in results their members get from posting a picture.
SIDENOTE: They also mention that their members should log into their account fairly often. This isn’t a problem for most people but it’s important to know that people can also search on the most “active” profiles. They measure the “activity” of a profile by how recently the owner has logged in to check their emails, etc. This way the “dead” profiles where no one has logged in for 6 months won’t come up because, obviously, if someone hasn’t logged in for 6 months they aren’t likely to see your email to them (let alone answer it).
AmericanSingles.com did a poll about the biggest turn-offs about people’s profiles. Last time I checked these were the results:
No photo – 48.4%
Spelling errors – 17%
Incomplete essays – 6.5%
Too negative – 12.3%
Sound like everyone else – 15%
So, I’ve showed you in several ways now that the biggest thing you can do to shoot yourself in the foot is to not post a photo of yourself.
No excuses…
At one time it might have been a pain to get a digital picture but nowadays digital cameras are very common – chances are that your friend has one if you don’t. If not, you can scan a picture and put it on a disk at any local Wal-Mart. You can even get your pictures from a regular camera put on a CD and mailed to you.
If you are technologically inept then have one of your friends help you with this. Just tell them that it’s an experiment or something I’m sure they will be glad to help.
Very few people are “recognized” by others. The chances of someone you know seeing your picture is very small. Even if someone you know did see it, so what? Online dating isn’t something to be embarrassed of anymore.
If you can’t brush your irrational fears and concerns to the side, just look at the numbers… having a picture on your profile has proven to boost responses anywhere from 75 – 350%. If you fail to put a picture on your profile you are missing out on 75% (or more) of the women you would have met!
Having a good, appealing picture on your profile is a NECESSITY not an option. If you fail to do this is you will experience mediocre results with online dating… it’s just a mathematical fact.
Here are some general tips…
Get 5 – 10 recent (last six months) pictures of yourself together… the more the better. Have them be from different days, in different clothes, etc. Just try to get a variety of pictures.
If you are self-conscious about a certain part of your body then feel free to focus on a different aspect. For example, if you are concerned about your weight use a head only shot. If you are concerned about your face then a picture that is farther away and shows your whole body will draw less attention to your face.
Make sure the picture is only you – no family, friends, or pets.
Avoid fuzzy web cam pictures – the grainy, very unclear pictures produced by web cams are very annoying to other people and actually make you look bad.
Avoid sunglasses, hats, or anything else that is distracting.
Make your picture classy. A classy picture wouldn’t have a “busy” background. An outdoor picture against a simple landscape such as on the beach in front of the water would count as classy. Try to have what you are wearing be classy also. Classy clothes are usually just simple and modern.
Finding the perfect picture…
You cannot judge which picture you look best in. Most guys (probably 99%) cannot do this so do NOT assume that you can.
You are going to have to seek outside help on this.
Find an HONEST female friend (preferably a BRUTALLY HONEST female friend) and have her look over your photos have her rank them in the order she likes them.
If you can’t brush your irrational fears and concerns to the side, just look at the numbers… having a picture on your profile has proven to boost responses anywhere from 75 – 350%. If you fail to put a picture on your profile you are missing out on 75% (or more) of the women you would have met!
Having a good, appealing picture on your profile is a NECESSITY not an option. If you fail to do this is you will experience mediocre results with online dating… it’s just a mathematical fact.
Here are some general tips…
Get 5 – 10 recent (last six months) pictures of yourself together… the more the better. Have them be from different days, in different clothes, etc. Just try to get a variety of pictures.
If you are self-conscious about a certain part of your body then feel free to focus on a different aspect. For example, if you are concerned about your weight use a head only shot. If you are concerned about your face then a picture that is farther away and shows your whole body will draw less attention to your face.
Make sure the picture is only you – no family, friends, or pets.
Avoid fuzzy web cam pictures – the grainy, very unclear pictures produced by web cams are very annoying to other people and actually make you look bad.
Avoid sunglasses, hats, or anything else that is distracting.
Make your picture classy. A classy picture wouldn’t have a “busy” background. An outdoor picture against a simple landscape such as on the beach in front of the water would count as classy. Try to have what you are wearing be classy also. Classy clothes are usually just simple and modern.
Finding the perfect picture…
You cannot judge which picture you look best in. Most guys (probably 99%) cannot do this so do NOT assume that you can.
You are going to have to seek outside help on this.
Find an HONEST female friend (preferably a BRUTALLY HONEST female friend) and have her look over your photos have her rank them in the order she likes them.
If you have another BRUTALLY HONEST female friend it does, of course, help if you have another woman repeat this process.
Take the pictures that they both seemed to like and make them digital (if they are not already) by scanning them. Again, get help if this seems daunting to you... don’t skip it.
If you are not willing to seek outside help, try posting your picture to a site like www.hotornot.com one at a time and using the ranking to determine which picture you look best in. Be careful that you let a lot of people rank each photo so that you have an accurate measure of each.
Even if your aren’t willing to go through all this work just to identify a good-looking picture of yourself, posting a picture on www.hotornot.com will give you a good idea of what women think of how you look, which, can be interesting if nothing else.
“Can’t I just scan an old Polaroid?”
I’ll be the first to admit that this seems like a lot of work just to get a couple of good pictures of yourself. BUT, this is so INCREDIBLY important to whether you will meet lots of new women using online dating that it deserves every ounce of effort you put in… and then some.
A few really good pictures of yourself is your key to getting women interested in meeting you. A mediocre picture won’t get you as many responses and the lack of a picture almost guarantees that very few women find you (let alone want to meet you).
SIDENOTE: If you don’t have a digital camera handy it’s good to get quite a few pictures in digital format ready to email. Often women will want to email pics back and forth just for fun and to get a better idea of who you are.
Take the pictures that they both seemed to like and make them digital (if they are not already) by scanning them. Again, get help if this seems daunting to you... don’t skip it.
If you are not willing to seek outside help, try posting your picture to a site like www.hotornot.com one at a time and using the ranking to determine which picture you look best in. Be careful that you let a lot of people rank each photo so that you have an accurate measure of each.
Even if your aren’t willing to go through all this work just to identify a good-looking picture of yourself, posting a picture on www.hotornot.com will give you a good idea of what women think of how you look, which, can be interesting if nothing else.
“Can’t I just scan an old Polaroid?”
I’ll be the first to admit that this seems like a lot of work just to get a couple of good pictures of yourself. BUT, this is so INCREDIBLY important to whether you will meet lots of new women using online dating that it deserves every ounce of effort you put in… and then some.
A few really good pictures of yourself is your key to getting women interested in meeting you. A mediocre picture won’t get you as many responses and the lack of a picture almost guarantees that very few women find you (let alone want to meet you).
SIDENOTE: If you don’t have a digital camera handy it’s good to get quite a few pictures in digital format ready to email. Often women will want to email pics back and forth just for fun and to get a better idea of who you are.
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