How to use the phone…
The phone has just one main purpose and that is to set up a date. As with emailing and IMing, the phone is not a means of getting to know the woman through long drawn out conversation – save that stuff for the real date where you can create “sparks and chemistry.”
This phone conversation is just so that you can talk long enough to create some kind of connection and then ask her for the date.
So, just to review…
Email is good for one thing… getting the IM screen name. IM is good for one thing… getting the phone number. And the phone is good for only one thing… getting the date.
Having a phone conversation let’s the woman hear your voice which is very reassuring. This way she can tell you are a nice guy and get a good idea of your personality (you also get a good idea of her personality and can abort at any time before meeting which is VERY convenient sometimes – like if the “woman” on the other end has a voice like James Earl Jones).
How to hear “Yes, I would love to do that with you…”
If you are like most guys then the experience of asking a girl out on a date can be a little nerve-racking.
What if she says no? How can you increase your chances of her saying yes?
Here’s a tip that works wonders…
When most guys ask a woman to go out on a date they say, “Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go out some time to do something.”
What’s wrong with that?
The phone has just one main purpose and that is to set up a date. As with emailing and IMing, the phone is not a means of getting to know the woman through long drawn out conversation – save that stuff for the real date where you can create “sparks and chemistry.”
This phone conversation is just so that you can talk long enough to create some kind of connection and then ask her for the date.
So, just to review…
Email is good for one thing… getting the IM screen name. IM is good for one thing… getting the phone number. And the phone is good for only one thing… getting the date.
Having a phone conversation let’s the woman hear your voice which is very reassuring. This way she can tell you are a nice guy and get a good idea of your personality (you also get a good idea of her personality and can abort at any time before meeting which is VERY convenient sometimes – like if the “woman” on the other end has a voice like James Earl Jones).
How to hear “Yes, I would love to do that with you…”
If you are like most guys then the experience of asking a girl out on a date can be a little nerve-racking.
What if she says no? How can you increase your chances of her saying yes?
Here’s a tip that works wonders…
When most guys ask a woman to go out on a date they say, “Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go out some time to do something.”
What’s wrong with that?
BOOOOORING.
“Do something?” What woman wants to go out and “do something”?
No woman I know. By using that wording you are already setting yourself up for a rejection. “Do something” sounds so boring, so vague, and, by extension, so easy to reject.
Knowing that, here’s the key to setting yourself up for success:
Ask her to go out on a specific date – one that you KNOW she will be interested in.
SIDENOTE: Unless you are certain that she really, really likes (and trusts you) then you should go out on a short date (1 hour or less) just to get to know each other before asking her out on a longer date (such as a football game). Good “short dates” include lunch dates and coffee dates.
You already have her profile of exact interests. Create a date idea centered on one of her interests.
If she likes football get some tickets - it doesn’t matter if they are cheap (of course, you may want to wait until she says yes to buy the tickets).
If she stated that she liked the water ask her out to a beach picnic.
If she loves the beach then how could she possibly say no to a fun-filled day on the sandy shore?
If she is a HUGE football fan then how could she possibly turn down a chance to see your home team play?
See what I’m saying? Now, if you contact her.
Try to keep the activity around lots of people – that way she will feel completely comfortable. Bad ideas are movies (too typical) and anything at your house or alone (too threatening).
So, set up the date and THEN GET OFF THE PHONE…
This isn’t a time to talk about your childhood or your big dreams for the future.
You are simply setting up a date – that’s it.
1. Call her.
“Do something?” What woman wants to go out and “do something”?
No woman I know. By using that wording you are already setting yourself up for a rejection. “Do something” sounds so boring, so vague, and, by extension, so easy to reject.
Knowing that, here’s the key to setting yourself up for success:
Ask her to go out on a specific date – one that you KNOW she will be interested in.
SIDENOTE: Unless you are certain that she really, really likes (and trusts you) then you should go out on a short date (1 hour or less) just to get to know each other before asking her out on a longer date (such as a football game). Good “short dates” include lunch dates and coffee dates.
You already have her profile of exact interests. Create a date idea centered on one of her interests.
If she likes football get some tickets - it doesn’t matter if they are cheap (of course, you may want to wait until she says yes to buy the tickets).
If she stated that she liked the water ask her out to a beach picnic.
If she loves the beach then how could she possibly say no to a fun-filled day on the sandy shore?
If she is a HUGE football fan then how could she possibly turn down a chance to see your home team play?
See what I’m saying? Now, if you contact her.
Try to keep the activity around lots of people – that way she will feel completely comfortable. Bad ideas are movies (too typical) and anything at your house or alone (too threatening).
So, set up the date and THEN GET OFF THE PHONE…
This isn’t a time to talk about your childhood or your big dreams for the future.
You are simply setting up a date – that’s it.
1. Call her.
2. Talk for a little until you create a connection.
3. Ask for the date.
4. Set up the date.
5. Politely end the conversation.
How long should the transition take?…
How fast is too fast to go from email to asking for the date? How slow is too slow?
Trying to do this in less than a week is too fast. If it drags on to more than three weeks then that is too slow.
If you try to speed things up a little and she resists then you can assume that her interest in you is low and concentrate on another woman instead (asking to talk on the phone is not unreasonable).
3. Ask for the date.
4. Set up the date.
5. Politely end the conversation.
How long should the transition take?…
How fast is too fast to go from email to asking for the date? How slow is too slow?
Trying to do this in less than a week is too fast. If it drags on to more than three weeks then that is too slow.
If you try to speed things up a little and she resists then you can assume that her interest in you is low and concentrate on another woman instead (asking to talk on the phone is not unreasonable).
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